Gone and Dead

One day you came,

Thought you brought a game,

Hated you for months,

Cared less in thousandths

But when I got torn,

You saved me like I was born

It blew me like a hurricane

Ironically removing all the pain.

I learned love

Like in the skies above

Brought me too high,

Making me fly,

Always we were together,

We held one another.

I was sure you’d never let go,

but was never sure I’d stoop so low

-    getting away from you

Like you to me would never do.

Left you broken,

Surely all cares were forgotten;

I thought you were fine

But no, I crossed the line,

I was no better –

Thought we could stay away from each other,

Didn’t realize you needed me;

Didn’t know in my life too I needed thee,

Lonely were you but I didn’t know,

I was sorry; regrets took me in a mighty blow.

I came back

But with no luck,

I was too late;

What for me you felt was already hate.

You pushed me away,

Almost begged to you to let me stay,

There agony was,

Loneliness and regrets contained as I must.

In years I tried,

I pretended and lied

To myself that I be in content

With a heart not bent.

But fortune was there,

God would always care,

Got it healed,

Moved on and faced life in the field

Then came one day

Sooner than your birthday,

I decided to surprise you

As what a friend – an old friend – would do

To make you happy

-    a part of saying sorry.

Thought I was really ready for one comeback,

But was wrong when I heard one knock –

It was the feeling –

That for years I had been keeping.

Suddenly then everything came in,

It’s love spelled back just like what it had been.

Panic rushed,

Had excuses so it’d be washed

But excuses got me no excuse

When everything turned loose,

He got me so captivated,

Then again we dated

But it became strange;

I really expected a lot to change

But then hated when it eventually happened,

My cheeks got usually dampened

And I’d always asked then

To him what did ever happen,

What have I done?

He’s changed like I didn’t expect he can.

It was one single thread –

Holding us together until we bled;

I kept holding on

Though I know I weighed a ton

That the thread can never pull

While he was acting like a fool

He left me in a snap

-    thought I’d forget it in a nap

And in stupidity I thought

Still it’d be the same – everything he brought—

It’d be alright

Like there’s still light.

Then there’s a big “no”

For me to know:

Everything was a fantasy,

No more he and me,

He got me torn

Like he hasn’t even got me reborn,

Nothing has he got to remember

When it’s my heart he tore in September

Didn’t realize that one day he’s sure

He’d leave me without Love’s cure;

Didn’t know his reasons,

Was it time?

Or is it just the two of us with no rhyme?

Surprise was no word to describe,

To Hades my soul I’d even bribe

To forget the pain inside

Have him again by my side

But then agony

Has known me

No stopping,

Fluidly it’s taking

My soul which knows all pain,

Suffering  forever in bane.

I’m no glad,

Know forever I think I’d be this sad,

In nights I cry in silence

In mornings loud in defense

Of grief rushing, taking me over

Like not in the world would matter;

Now the me in me is already in bed

                Long gone and dead.